My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
