id be glad to
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Randomize
