Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
