Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
