Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
