I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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