How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
