lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
