if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
