Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
