My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
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