i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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