i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
