So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
