I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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