Walk of Shame. In a state park.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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