There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
