she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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