how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
