Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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