You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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