No, you can still breathe under the balls.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
