Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
