Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize
