We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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