brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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