woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
