So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
