What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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