she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
