please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
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