dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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