Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
