Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
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