He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
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