brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Randomize
