Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I checked into jail on foursquare
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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