I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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