Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
