I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
