Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
