vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
We talked him into tasing himself.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
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