so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
