so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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