I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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