I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
