your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Randomize
