so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
