More tranny stories later!
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
you inspire me to be a worse person
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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