When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
You're like the curious george of whores
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
