I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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