3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
